A consultation is a conversation about a personal situation, often at a difficult time. Preparing for it does two things: it helps the practitioner understand what is actually happening, and it makes it much easier for you to tell whether the answers you are getting are substantial or evasive.
Key takeaways
- Decide what you actually want from the conversation before you have it.
- Gather the facts of your situation; a careful practitioner will ask.
- Agree the full fee in writing before anything begins.
- Ask what is not promised — the answer tells you the most.
- Keep your own record of what was agreed.
Before the conversation
Decide what you want from it
Are you looking for advice on whether this is appropriate at all, or have you already decided and want to know what is involved? Both are reasonable, and saying which at the start saves time.
Gather the facts
A careful practitioner will ask about the situation. Being able to describe it plainly — what happened, when, what has been tried — is more useful than any amount of detail about how you feel about it, though that matters too.
Decide what you are not willing to do
Set your own limits in advance: what you will spend, what information you are willing to share, and what you would consider a reason to walk away. Deciding these before an emotional conversation is far easier than deciding them during one.
A practical checklist
- Written summary of the situation and its timeline
- Any photographs you have been asked for, and a decision about whether you are comfortable providing them
- The maximum total fee you are willing to agree
- Your questions, written down
- A note of what would make you decide against proceeding
Questions to ask
About the work
- Which tradition is this in, and who performs it?
- What happens, in what order, and roughly over what period?
- What will I receive when it is complete?
About money
- What is the total fee?
- Is anything else payable later, under any circumstances?
- What happens if I change my mind before the work begins?
About information
- What do you do with my photographs and personal details?
- Are they deleted, kept, or shown anywhere?
About limits
- What do you not promise?
- What kinds of request do you decline?
That last pair is the most useful. A practitioner who can describe what they decline is describing a practice with boundaries.
Warning signs during a consultation
Some of these are worth ending the conversation over:
- A guaranteed outcome, or a specific date
- Pressure to decide immediately, or a price that expires
- A recommendation made before you have described your situation
- Reluctance to put the fee in writing
- Any suggestion that more money will be needed later to “complete” or “strengthen” the work
Our guide to identifying a genuine practitioner covers the research worth doing before you even make contact.
What the conversation is likely to feel like
It is worth knowing in advance that a good consultation may not be reassuring. A practitioner who takes the request seriously will ask direct questions about a painful situation, may say that they need to think about whether to accept it, and will not tell you what you want to hear about the outcome.
That can feel less satisfying than a conversation with someone who promises you a result on the spot. The comfortable conversation is the one to be careful of. Certainty offered quickly, about something nobody can know, is the clearest signal that you are being sold to rather than advised.
You should also expect to be told what is not being offered. If nothing in the conversation is framed as a limit — no “we cannot promise”, no “this may not be appropriate” — then you have not been told the whole picture.
After the consultation, before you pay
Do not treat the end of the conversation as the moment to decide. A short pause costs nothing and changes the quality of the decision.
- Re-read your own notes rather than relying on how the conversation felt.
- Check the fee you were quoted against what you decided in advance you would spend.
- Confirm in writing what is included and what you will receive.
- Ask yourself whether anything you were told was a promise about an outcome or a date. If so, weigh that heavily — it is the single most common warning sign.
- If you felt hurried at any point, treat that as information about the practitioner rather than about your own indecision.
A practitioner worth engaging will still be there tomorrow. One who will not be is telling you something useful.
Keep your own record
Keep the conversation in writing where you can. If a practitioner will only communicate by voice note, you are left with no record of what was agreed. Note the agreed fee, what is included and what you were told you would receive, and keep your own copy of any documentation you are sent — including afterwards, since some practitioners, ourselves included, delete your material once it has been forwarded to you.
What to expect from us
We take the enquiry and discuss your circumstances privately before anything is arranged. We tell you which ritual is being suggested and what it costs before anything begins, and the fee does not change afterwards. You will not be asked for further payments once a ritual has been agreed.
We do not perform the ritual ourselves. It is carried out in Chiang Mai by Ajarn James, who works in the Lanna tradition, and we send you the photographic or video documentation once the work has been completed. Personal information and photographs you provide are deleted once your documentation has been sent to you, unless you have given permission to show it as an example of our work — which is why keeping your own copy matters.
We do not guarantee outcomes. No one can promise how another person will feel or act.
See how our ritual process works for the nine steps in detail, our love ritual FAQ for the short answers to the questions above, or read about our love ritual service when you are ready to make contact.